So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
