Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize