zippers are such a cool invention
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
