Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
