Tell her she can't have a vagina
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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