She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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