And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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