laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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