so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
PS: I just woke up from my shower
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
why does every cop we meet know your name?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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