i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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