that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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