At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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