The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
