Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
