What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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