I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
