I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
