were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
