When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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