He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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