Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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