Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
you made out with another girl for some wings
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize