Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
