I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Who put my cat in the fridge?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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