And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
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i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
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If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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