Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
found the other keg... it's in the tree
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
