My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
