they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
