Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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