so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
