I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
