You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
