Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
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