Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
