i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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