all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
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There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
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When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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