just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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