Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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