You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
