As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You are the jesus of drinking
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
