New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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