So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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