My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
