It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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