it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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