porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
