ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
