the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
