never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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