My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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