O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Is it because I queefed?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
