yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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