All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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