i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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