either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
