I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
