I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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