It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
