Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
