I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
