Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.

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(917): View more from New York City

You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard

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(615): View more from Tennessee

You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs

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(773): View more from Illinois

And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.

(1-773): View more from Illinois

That's my new pick up line call me a polish name

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals

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(281): View more from Texas

So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.

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(248): View more from Michigan

it was an ACCIDENT

(734): View more from Michigan

it was a DICK

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(203): View more from Connecticut

How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up

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