Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize